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 Post subject: And the Lord Spake...
PostPosted: Fri Apr 28, 2017 9:35 pm 
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Eternal City, Heaven. Sometime in Antiquity

“In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.”
Raphael paused and showed Michael what he had written.
“Not a bad start Raph, a bit clunky but it’s not every day that the boss finds a new universe.”
“True, but no less exciting. Ok, for this next part, I need to know His exact words as he set off that big bang that opened the portal.”
Michael looked decidedly uncomfortable at this. “You know Raph, maybe we out not dwell on the what he said per se. Keep it kind of a mystery.”
“Mystery Mike? He punched a hole in our universe with nothing I think a little profundity is called for here. That’s why I used this kind of language.
“Raph, I don’t know how He did it, do you? I think that’s mysterious. Maybe we ought keep it that way.“ Michael cast his eyes downward and trailed off a bit as he said this. This was not lost on Rapahel.
“Ok Mike, spill it. You’re not telling me something.” Raphael demanded and then waited as Michael paused before answering.
“Hold My Beer.”
Raphael sputtered as his jaw dropped. “HOLD… My… BEER?”
Looking profoundly embarrassed Michael replied “Yeah… I was a bit… taken aback.”
“Mike, this is to be the chronicle of guidance for the beings in that universe. If we put in ‘Hold My Beer’, then they might take this thing literally, and that will cause no end of trouble. I’ve seen what the Boss has in mind for this ‘human’ thing, and frankly I am dubious that He understands they have free will. If we use those words, who knows what kind of mischief they will get into using it.”
“Yeah, it might be trouble, but we have a while before that will become a problem to work on it. Anyway, whether you write it that way or not, given the way they think, I think your fear is inevitable”
Raphael sighed. “I think you’re right, but I was told I had artistic license this time and I intend to exercise it. How about “And God said: ‘Let There Be Light’. They can’t do anything awful with that.

Some time later, 16 July 1945 0535
Michael and Raphael looked down from their celestial viewpoint at the expanding cloud over the New Mexico Desert. After an exchange of worried glances, Michael said “I wonder if we should have stuck to “Hold My Beer?”


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 29, 2017 3:50 am 
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I LIKES!

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Sir Humphrey Appleby: Bernard, Ministers should never know more than they need to. Then they can't tell anyone. Like secret agents, they could be captured, tortured.
Bernard Woolley: You mean by terrorists?
Sir Humphrey Appleby: By the BBC, Bernard.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 29, 2017 9:50 am 
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Yeah, verily, that got me *right* on the Funny Bone. I'm so glad no drinks are allowed near these keyboards...

FWIW, how does WhatsHisName relate to the Greco-Roman, Nordic & Indian Pantheons ??
Are They Franchised ??

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'P for Pleistocene' A camp-out goes impossibly wrong...


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 29, 2017 11:12 am 
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I love it.

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Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival."
-Sir Winston Churchill


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 29, 2017 8:36 pm 
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Very good Waarthog. :D

Jonathan


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 30, 2017 2:35 am 
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Thanks Guys! I had fun writing it. :)


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PostPosted: Tue May 02, 2017 7:59 am 
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"Hold my beer!" indeed :D

Thanks for the laugh!

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A Missouri man had once written the Confederate[s] that all they had to do to get rid of the St. Louis Unionists was to destroy the breweries and seize all the beer: 'By this, the Dutch will all die in a week and the Yankees will then run from this state.'


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PostPosted: Tue May 02, 2017 8:45 am 
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If we ever get back to publishing The Salvation War, that gets added as the preface.

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Nations do not survive by setting examples for others.
Nations survive by making examples of others


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PostPosted: Tue May 02, 2017 4:22 pm 
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I love this version of Mike and Raph compared to versions in "Supernatural". As Dean Winchester would say, "They're giant bags of d...".. Um...let's just say they are not the life of a party.


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PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2017 11:36 am 
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Francis Urquhart wrote:
If we ever get back to publishing The Salvation War, that gets added as the preface.


Don't get my hopes up, you minx...

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Sir Humphrey Appleby: Bernard, Ministers should never know more than they need to. Then they can't tell anyone. Like secret agents, they could be captured, tortured.
Bernard Woolley: You mean by terrorists?
Sir Humphrey Appleby: By the BBC, Bernard.


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PostPosted: Thu May 25, 2017 12:08 pm 
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You are such a tease. :oops:
Would it help if I sacrificed a virgin or two? Not that there are many of those around here...
Francis Urquhart wrote:
If we ever get back to publishing The Salvation War, that gets added as the preface.

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I must study politics and war, you see, so that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons must study navigation, commerce and agriculture, so that their children will have the right to study painting, poetry and music.


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